I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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