i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
