didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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