I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
