Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
