i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
