And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
