i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize