Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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