Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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