erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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