youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
