She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
