we have officially lost it.
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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