me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
