maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
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