I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
