they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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