I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
