You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
You pole danced in your parka.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
