i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
