She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
