Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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