no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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