Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
