Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize