A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I need to sanitize my soul.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
