Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
