I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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