"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
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