my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
