listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize