he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
