I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
