I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Randomize