So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
