I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
