my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Bring me that man meat
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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