Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Dick very happy bro
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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