So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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