Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
