I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize