you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
