i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
So many bounce houses so little time
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
