What a fucking waste of an outfit
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Randomize
