saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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