I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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