Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
