Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize