i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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