we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
