i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
