i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
