Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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