if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
