He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Randomize
