Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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