I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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