remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
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