why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Farmville is her only friend.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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