If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
