My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
