Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
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