She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
