You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
